I’ve spent a lot of time out with my herd over the last few weeks. I’m always amazed at what I learn sitting in a field with my horses. About them, about myself and about how to be in the world. Several weeks ago I brought a new yearling to join my herd. Dara is her name, more about her in a different post, but the other day I was sitting out watching the interaction with my other horses. As I enjoyed the quiet morning, a couple of adult coyotes wandered thru the field. My alarm bells immediately started to go off, how will Dara react, she’s still little, is she a target, will they harm her? All these panicky thoughts running through my head. And as I watched, all of my horses raised their heads in awareness, Dara jumped slightly and looked at the older horses. And they just snorted and went back to grazing. And so Dara watched the coyotes for a moment and wandered over to Whiskey, one of my older horses, and LAY DOWN. Talk about giving me heart failure. And then the coyotes continued on their way into the pasture next to me and over the hill. Immediate relief for me, and then curiosity.  Why were they not stressed about a predator invading their space? The awareness and caution in their demeanor were evident, why would Dara lay down, putting herself in a very vulnerable position?
One of the beautiful lessons to be learned from horses is their ability to be present in the moment. As prey animals, they are highly sensitive to their environment, their survival depends on it. But to remain in a state of alarm is unsustainable and exhausting, which would also threaten their well-being. All emotions and energies in their space are information to them. They gather this information and assess whether it is a threat to their survival, and take action. Or go back to grazing. The presence of a predator in their space did not at that moment represent a threat. They were merely passing thru. It was my filter and expectation that create panic in me. I wasn’t reading the space for the energy that was currently there, I was already anticipating a worst case scenario. What opportunities have I missed by being predisposed to a certain outcome? What can I learn from making an effort to be fully present to what is, instead of what I expect, or hope, or fear?
This power of presence has been reinforced for me lately. In recent weeks I have had a couple of dear friends deal with the loss of their parents. One lovely lady has had both her parents pass within a couple of weeks of each other. They were quite elderly, their passing not entirely unexpected, but it can be a difficult space to navigate. Chatting with my friend as she and her sisters spent valuable time with their father in his last days here was both heart-breaking and heart-warming. A long life well-lived, he told her he had no regrets. Her ability to remain fully present in the moments she had with him, savoring the connection with him as he navigated his own transition was inspirational. Providing a calm presence for her sisters as they too came to grips with letting go. Being comfortable with the discomfort. No expectation of controlling the outcome. The veil between this existence and the next almost tangible. The peacefulness of just being present. What an incredible gift. What a powerful experience.
And so my practice for the next couple of weeks is to take a moment, and be present. Be more observant to what is. Be more aware of what swirls through my mind that may be unwarranted at this time. What are my filters that color how I see the situation? What can I do to let go of judgements and expectations, guilt and fear? What opportunities arise when I look for what is instead of what I think should be? The possibilities are endless….
What do you see when you are fully present? How does that impact how you show up in the world? Trust in the moment, be present, and see what gifts can come from that.

Last week I spent a few days in the presence of masterful teachers. A herd of 25 horses who reminded me of the many layers of leadership.
You might ask, “Why Horses?” As prey animals, they are biologically designed to be highly sensitive to each other and to their surroundings. Their survival depends on it. As such, they have much to teach us about ourselves and how we are perceived by others. Horses are masters of intuition and emotional intelligence. You see horses mirror back to us what we bring to an encounter. They are a pure reflection of the energy and emotion that we project. Without ego, without judgment. Just a reflection.
Last week was a lesson in awareness around how I hold my energy. How I project it. And how it changes when I stand authentically in my leadership. It was also a lesson in trust and vulnerability. Many of us have been conditioned to ignore or dismiss our sensitivity around our energy and emotions. I’ve often been told to get over myself or I’m over-reacting. And perhaps at times I do over-react. But I believe that tapping into this awareness, this gut instinct, is an essential piece of the leadership puzzle. Learning to “read the space” is a skill that our equine companions are well equipped to teach us.
You have often heard that people in positions of authority have a “command presence”. All leaders need to have this ability to be strong in their energy. They also need to know when to soften that energy or boundary and be a bit vulnerable to show trust in their colleagues, because it engenders trust in return.
Boundaries are required to keep ourselves and others safe. Setting our own boundaries, respecting others. Boundaries do not have to be verbal or physical, they can be energetic. Grounding in through your personal strengths and center of confidence can help you project that energetic boundary with someone in any situation. Holding those boundaries creates safety around vulnerability.

So how did these horses teach me about boundaries? Well, one big gelding named Cheveyo has sense of humor and likes to have a back scratch. He can be quite insistent about it and will back his big bum right into you until you scratch him. If you have ever tried to push back against 1000 lb animal, you know it’s not very successful. So how do you assert that boundary? That’s when you need to set an energetic boundary. Grounding into your energy and holding your position. Not in anger, not in frustration, but in confidence in your leadership. The beauty of horses being so sensitive to energy, is that they respond immediately when you project that energy. They start respecting your space. And so instead of trying to push him out of my space physically, I took a deep breath and found my center. That feeling of personal power when I connect to my strength and authentic leadership. And he stopped pushing. He started to respect the boundary that I set. But there was one more piece he wanted me to recognize. He was standing with his bum towards me. This is a very vulnerable position for him, horses can’t see directly behind them. When I acknowledged that I was grateful for the trust he had in me, he turned his head to look at me and snorted softly and walked away. Message received.
Vulnerability is a difficult one for me. Both personally and in my leadership. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that vulnerability means weakness. And as a leader you shouldn’t show weakness. This conditioning often causes us to mask what we truly feel in an effort to project strength and confidence. That creates an incongruence in our energy. Some of us can tune into that and we recognize that the individual is not being entirely genuine. Not necessarily dishonest, they may not realize it themselves as a result of holding this conditioning for so many years. But horses see it. Or rather they feel it. Cheveyo knew it. And he held the boundary until my thoughts and my energy were on the same frequency. I was in my authentic self and it rang true to him. Vulnerability and trust go hand in hand. As does setting boundaries. Being vulnerable does not mean you can’t be discerning as to when and with whom you choose to be open.
Many of our conflicts are a result of not being aware of our own and others energy and boundaries. Typically, anger and frustration arise when a boundary has been crossed. And often it is crossed unintentionally.  Developing our awareness of our own strengths and priorities will help us set boundaries to provide some safety around being vulnerable. We also need to dial up the sensitivity to others boundaries and be respectful of that space.
And one more lesson from the horses. Shake it off and go back to grazing. As sensitive as they are to emotions and energy, they don’t take it personally. To do so would be a threat to their survival. They read emotions and energy, and assess whether it is a threat or not and then take appropriate action. No threat? Great, they don’t take it personally and they quietly go back to grazing. It is a human tendency to hang onto things and sometimes blow them out of proportion as we dwell on them. That is our ego getting in the way. So let’s dial up our awareness, set and respect boundaries, have the tough conversations, and then shake it off and get back to living and leading authentically.
The picture above is my teacher Cheveyo and myself.

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There is a lot of buzz about finding the perfect work/life balance. You need to have a balanced approach to your work. You need to make time for yourself; you need to make time for your family. All of that is true in certain respects. But here’s a different perspective - A colleague once told me that balance was something from which he recoiled. He equated balance with mediocrity. To him it implied that excellence needed to be dialed back, and areas that required improvement needed additional attention in order to bring about equilibrium. Hmm, interesting.  My Cousin tells me she finds balance in the extremes. All-in when she’s working, and completely unplugged when on vacation.
The truth is balance is different for everyone. And perhaps the goal should be clarity and not balance. We had a great discussion on the weekend around balance and what it means for each of us. My insightful friend Ciel used the metaphor of an infinity loop to describe a relationship with balance. The center point represents Clarity. The loops pull us away from center as different aspects of our life take priority. Sometimes our work, sometimes our family, or maybe our health requires us to detour away from center for a while. But always there is tension pulling us back from the outside edge of the loop to bring us back to that center point.
I believe it is clarity that keeps us centered. That clarity can be elusive at times. It takes a great deal of self-awareness. Soul searching. Understanding your strengths. Embracing your authenticity. Having this depth of understanding of yourself can bring about clarity of purpose; an alignment with our authentic values and strengths; clarity around what anchors us in our life. I think we need to go a step beyond that as well and be aware of the rhythms that occur in your life. We all have times when we are most productive, more creative, have more or less energy. These times can cycle daily or change with the seasons, they are unique to each of us. So often our schedules are structured around what works best for others – our employer, our family, but rarely ourselves. Taking some time to evaluate where we are operating at our best can relieve some of the pressure to find balance. Dancing with those rhythms around the infinite loop, but always having clarity bring us back to center.
That’s my slightly different perspective on balance today. Enjoy the Dance!

Often when we think of leaders, it is the charismatic, outgoing personalities that we think of first. And there are many leaders who fit that description. However, that doesn’t necessarily make them an effective leader. That certainly helps when they need to tackle certain tasks or roles, but its only part of the equation.
So what is it? Specific qualities? Presence? The ability to wear many hats? I think perhaps all these things.
This is where I think it’s so important to understand your personal strengths in developing your own leadership style. I’ve mentioned before that leaders can be found everywhere you look. And they aren’t always the most visible individuals in the situation. Leaders are the ones embracing their strengths, and encouraging others to embrace their strengths, stepping back if someone else is better equipped to handle a situation.
This is something that I have learned a great deal about from my horses. The picture above is of my three horses at the time, about 12 years ago. When I ask people who the leader in the herd is, most will say the one in front. What is it about him/her that leads you to believe that? They’re in front, the biggest, the most striking? Well he is all that, and he’s got a big personality as well. But he’s not the leader. Every herd member has a different role to play in the survival of the herd. Watching how horses establish a hierarchy that works to keep the safety and well-being of the entire herd at the forefront is really a lesson in leadership. Cooper, the black and white paint, holds the role of what Linda Kohanov in her book “The Five Roles of the Master Herder” would call Sentinel. Buddy, the dark bay is the Leader, and Brandy, the redhead, is a Nurturer. As the leader of the group, Buddy stepped back and let Cooper play to his strength – being watchful and guarding the safety of the herd. That’s not to say that Buddy couldn’t be the Sentinel, but he shares the responsibility.
So too, with human interactions, a leader needs to understand his or her own strengths, and the strengths of those around them. They need to create space for others to step forward into a lead role and demonstrate their strengths. And they need to recognize the areas that they need to cultivate and develop to be an effective leader. They need to be able to take on different roles. Sometimes the listener, the nurturer, ensuring everyone is heard. Sometimes decisive, providing clear guidance and direction.
Awareness. I think awareness is a key factor. Being aware of your personal strengths, opportunities for improvement, our personal filters through which we see the world, who we are at our core. This self-awareness enables us to be authentic. You can’t inspire others to fulfill their potential if you are not operating in a genuine manner. Their support will be hollow, half hearted, because as a leader you are not being authentic.
Listen, allow others to be heard. Cultivate a skill set that aligns with your authentic core values.
What other qualities so you see as essential for an effective leader?

Leaders come in all characters, personalities and temperaments. I think sometimes that we have a narrow definition of leadership, limiting it to the most powerful positions in the corporate or political world. Roles that influence the activities of many people and control large organizations.
What I am most inspired by is the quiet often unrecognized leaders we meet in our daily lives. I am fortunate to have amazing leaders in my circle of friends and family. I admire the stay-at-home Moms raising respectful, confident, adventurous children. The dedicated young men and women heading to work everyday and rushing home in the evening to carve out precious time with their young families. Career women juggling full-time jobs and still being fully present for their children and grandchildren. Retired folks with their vast store of knowledge and wisdom that seems to present itself miraculously when you need it most. Entrepreneurs pursuing their passion and lifting others with them as they soar. These people embrace the leader within.  Whether they realize it or not, they have a strong connection to their personal values and strengths, and embrace them on a daily basis. They are leaders just by being who they are at their core.
Leaders can be found everywhere you look. A young student who inspires their classmates to support a cause they are passionate about. The extremely competent co-worker that quietly enables the entire team to excel. The project manager that diplomatically diffuses heated arguments so everyone is heard and can get back on the same page and move the project forward. All very different, but all demonstrate similar characteristics. They lead by example. They embody integrity and honesty. They are respected, because they are respectful. That doesn’t mean there aren’t disagreements. We are of course human. But our differences broaden our perspective, provide more information and enrich our experiences.
Each of us are leaders in our own way. We may not appreciate the impact we have on those around us, but we very definitely do. Do we give thought to the impact we personally have in the world? Do we acknowledge the value we bring to those around us? Do we recognize those quiet leaders that have influenced our lives?
Today, take a moment to acknowledge the personal leader in you. The value you have and the enrichment you provide others’ lives. And take a moment to recognize and show appreciation for the quiet leaders in your life. They may not know how valuable they are and the impact they have in your world.

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At the end of 2018 I wrapped up over 20 years of employment with the same company. Downsizing. I still support their reduced operations, but in a part-time capacity. I don’t mind saying I’ve been at loose ends for the past several weeks. The nagging questions in my mind – what will I do now? How will I pay the bills? Where do I want to work? Who will hire me? DO I want to work?
This rather shocking transition has been experienced by far too many in our community. It can be a challenging thing to work through. Shifting away from the spiral of worrisome questions and taking the opportunity to do a bit of soul-searching is the direction I chose to go. Who am I outside of my corporate role? What is my purpose? What brings me joy and fulfillment? What are my strengths, my unique gifts that I can share with my community? What am I passionate about?
Don’t get me wrong, for the most part I very much enjoyed my corporate role. But now that it’s not part of my daily routine, what did I enjoy most about it? What will I miss? What was the value that I contributed?
I’ve discovered that it comes down to Leadership. I’ve been in a leadership role for years. In that time, I have had the opportunity to support and witness amazing people find their confidence and truly come into their own. This is what I find most satisfying.  To cultivate an environment and hold space for individuals as they find confidence in their skills, discover their unique strengths and embrace their own personal leadership. And that is one of my strengths. Being able to see the potential before they see it for themselves, and helping steer them in a direction where that potential can be realized. That has been truly rewarding.
I've chosen a picture of my horse Buddy to represent leadership. I lost him in 2015, but he is still with me in spirit. I learned a lot about leadership from him. He was my lead gelding. He led his herd with compassion, and loyalty. And had a great sense of humor as well. He wasn't the largest of my horses, or the pushiest. He wasn't the most visible and wasn't at all demanding. But he took his role seriously, he knew his strengths, and he knew when to let others take the lead. He was confident in his role, but he also knew that everyone else's role was important.
Leadership looks different for every individual. What does it look like for you? What are your strengths? And how can you embrace your personal leadership?